HOMILY – 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time – Love Jesus First

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How many people have uttered the words, "I would do absolutely anything for my children."

 We believe them when they say this.

But what if you were asked: "Would you become a saint for them?"

Most would pause and think about it for a moment.

Because those are not always the same thing.

Many parents would throw themselves in front of a bus for their children. Many spouses would work endless hours to provide for their families. Many grandparents would sacrifice comfort and sleep for those they love.

But becoming holy? Putting Christ first? Surrendering our pride, our sins, our ambitions, our need to control? Sometimes that feels a lot harder.

And that is exactly where today's Gospel challenges us.

Jesus says something that sounds shocking:

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

At first hearing, those words can sound harsh, even offensive.

Is Jesus telling us to love our families less?

Is He asking us to choose between God and the people we love?

Not at all.

In fact, the Catholic understanding is exactly the opposite.

Jesus is teaching that we can never truly love our families as we should unless we love Him first.

Think about it this way.

When God is not first, something else becomes first.

Sometimes it is money.

Sometimes success.

Sometimes politics.

And sometimes—surprisingly—it can even be family.

Now family is a beautiful gift from God. The Fourth Commandment tells us to honor our father and mother. Marriage and family are sacred vocations. The Church calls the family the "domestic church."

But even a good thing becomes distorted when it takes God's place.

Parents can become possessive.

Children can become idols.

Spouses can expect from one another what only God can provide.

Love can become control.

Affection can become dependency.

Protection can become fear.

When family becomes our highest good, we actually begin loving them less well, not more.

But when Christ is first, everything changes.

Then a husband loves his wife not merely because she makes him happy, but because Christ teaches him to lay down his life for her.

Then a wife forgives because Christ forgave her.

Then parents raise children not to fulfill their own dreams but to help them discover God's plan.

Then children learn that their identity comes not from achievement but from being beloved sons and daughters of God.

Jesus is not asking us to love our families less.

He is teaching us how to love them more.

We see a beautiful example in the first reading.

The Shunammite woman recognizes something special in Elisha. She opens her home to him and prepares a room for him.

Why?

Because she puts God's presence first.

And notice what happens.

Her generosity does not diminish her life.

It enlarges it.

The blessing she receives—a son promised by God—flows from her willingness to welcome God's servant.

When God comes first, blessings overflow.

The same principle remains true today.

Whenever we make room for God in our lives, everyone around us benefits.

St. Paul takes this even deeper in the second reading.

He reminds us that through Baptism we have died with Christ and risen with Him.

That means our primary identity is no longer simply father, mother, son, daughter, husband, wife, friend, or citizen.

All those identities matter.

But first and foremost, we belong to Christ.

We are united to His death and resurrection.

We are children of God.

And that changes every relationship.

The saint is not someone who escapes family life.

The saint is someone who brings the life of Christ into family life.

Consider the great saints.

Saint Monica loved her son St. Augustine deeply.

But she loved Christ even more.

Because she loved Christ more, she never gave up praying for Augustine's conversion.

And through her faithfulness, God transformed not only Augustine but the entire Church.

Or think of Saint Thomas More.

He’s the English lawyer and former Lord High Chancellor martyred in the 16^th Century by King Henry the 8^th when he challenged the King’s desire to divorce his wife.   

He was a devoted husband and father.

Yet when forced to choose between loyalty to Christ and loyalty to earthly powers, he chose Christ, saying at his execution: “I die the king’s good servant, and God’s first.”

Not because he loved his family less.

Because he loved God most.

And in doing so, he gave his family the greatest gift possible: the witness of holiness.

There is another subtle lesson in today's Gospel.

Jesus says:

"Whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me."

Notice how quickly He moves from family relationships to the cross.

Because sometimes the hardest crosses come precisely within the family.

A parent praying for a child who has left the faith.

A spouse caring for a husband or wife through a long illness.

A son or daughter forgiving old wounds.

A family remaining faithful to Christ when society pressures them to compromise.

The cross often appears where love is deepest.

Yet that is where Christ meets us.

At the end of the Gospel, Jesus speaks about offering even a cup of cold water in His name.

It seems like such a small thing.

But that is how holiness usually happens.

Not through dramatic gestures.

Through daily faithfulness.

A prayer before breakfast.

A patient conversation.

An act of forgiveness.

Bringing a child to Mass.

Caring for an elderly parent.

Praying for a struggling spouse.

Welcoming Christ in ordinary moments.

Small acts done for Christ transform the world.

So today Jesus asks each of us a difficult but life-changing question:  "Who is first in your life?"

Not because Christ is insecure.

Not because He is competing with your family.

But because He knows a profound truth:

The most loving thing you can do for your spouse is to love Christ first.

The most loving thing you can do for your children is to love Christ first.

The most loving thing you can do for your parents is to love Christ first.

Because when Christ is first, everyone else receives not less of your heart—but more of it, purified, strengthened, and transformed by divine love.

For only when Jesus occupies the center of our lives do we learn how to love everyone else as He loves them. And that is the kind of love that leads not merely to happiness in this life, but to eternal life in the next.